Many of you probably have been overly worried and sick unto death wondering what has happened to Pappa Bear he hasn't been on his blog for a really long time, maybe even centuries. Well, have no fear, fans of the world's most amazing bear. I am back. I had gone to south america to search for the elusive and rare automatic bear feeder and blog typer, when I was kidnapped by those gorillas you hear about down there in those mountains. Funny thing, they didn't look like gorillas at all, more like dirty human beans in bad outfits who need a bath and a shave and carry guns instead of bananas and candy. Well, they held me captive for a really really long time, probably forever and i was only able to escape recently by use of my superior wit and intelligence, not to mention i woke up and here i was miraculously back at my own home wearing the cutest outfit that you've ever seen that my human girl and staff member got me for christmas!!! Wait til we post pictures you will be so impressed. My staff promises to do better. I doubt she will, but since I don't pay her I can't really complain.
Love Pappa Bear the amazing!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Monday, January 28, 2008
Top 10 Uses Of Dragon Suits
I Pappa Bear am a very busy bear, but sometimes I have some time in the car when my staff won't let me drive and I have to just sit and so I make up lists. I am so smart that i know the world needs lists to keep it going and to understand how things work, so I am the bear for the job. I think I can probably solve anything or explain anything or even figure out anything if I make a list about it. You could try making lists too, but probably the important kinds of lists I make are probably a bit too advanced. You may also notice that all my lists are lists of 10 because 10 is such a magical number and so very important in the grand scheme of things.
This list is probably one of my most important- because it covers something very most important called Dragon Suits and they are probably the most important fashion accessory in the whole wide world!!!!
So here is my list!!!
Pappa Bear's Top Ten Uses of Dragon Suits
1- Witness relocation
2- A good way to use up all the left over green from St. Patrick's Day
3- You can scare people with it.
4- Fooling knights and princesses.
5- You never have to look for matches.
6- You don't have to wait in line for movies.
7- You always have a night light.
8- You don't have to use a helium balloon to fly.
9- You don't have to carry a blankie.
10- You don't have to use fake tanner.
11- You can always make toast.
12- And grilled Cheese.
13 And sheesh kabobs!!!!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Top Ten Driving Tips
My human girl recently took something called Driver's Ed u ca shun. That means she gets to scare lots of people by driving a car. Sometimes it's on the road, and other times it's in a ditch. All this means that it's time to break out Pappa Bear's Top Ten Driving Tips list.
Enjoy.
1- If you are using a bluetooth, bring a toothbrush.
2- If listening to the radio while driving, Don't dance.
3- If eating beans, bring clothes pins, gas mask, and air freshener.
4- If feeling gassy, say at frequent intervals, "We must have passed a sewage plant!!!!"
5- Sit on enough books to see over the steering wheel.
6- Always wear driving gloves, even if you don't have hands.
7- Don't talk on a cell phone, just shout loudly to the person next to you.
8- Never drive on top of another car.
9- Cars can't fly.
10- Or climb trees.
11- Don't drive with your feet.
12- Only put the top down if your car is a convertable.
13- In addition to your turn signal, you could shout:
"I'M TURNING RIGHT!!!"
Enjoy.
1- If you are using a bluetooth, bring a toothbrush.
2- If listening to the radio while driving, Don't dance.
3- If eating beans, bring clothes pins, gas mask, and air freshener.
4- If feeling gassy, say at frequent intervals, "We must have passed a sewage plant!!!!"
5- Sit on enough books to see over the steering wheel.
6- Always wear driving gloves, even if you don't have hands.
7- Don't talk on a cell phone, just shout loudly to the person next to you.
8- Never drive on top of another car.
9- Cars can't fly.
10- Or climb trees.
11- Don't drive with your feet.
12- Only put the top down if your car is a convertable.
13- In addition to your turn signal, you could shout:
"I'M TURNING RIGHT!!!"
It's nearly CHRISTMAS!!!!
I have been such a busy bear lately. I know you, my adoring fans, have been missing me so badly, and I have to apologize. You may not realize this, but I a bear do not type my own blognesses, I have a staff that actually has fingers and they type for me, I tell them every word, every singlie itty bitty one and they use their own fingers and type them for me. My staff has been busy. bla bla bla bla bla. Whine whine. I have to Shop, Pappa Bear. Christmas is coming Pappa Bear. Human daughter's birthday is coming, Pappa Bear. I have to take a nap Pappa Bear. Stuff like that I would fire my staff, except who else would work for a stuffed bear for nothing? No one I might imagine.
So I am stuck with the worst staff in the world!!! poor poor Pappa bear. Send all complaints to her, not to me, a poor pitiful bear who is at the mercy of bad help.
So let me tell you this. I have been in my spare time, thinking up stuff to write. And I have come up with some really good lists and I will get my staff to type them in for you.
I love Christmas. Christmas means lots of things to lots of people. To Bears it means FOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! yum yum. just tonight my staff was making something I like to call CANDY!!! yum yum. My paws are all sticky from helping. To help, you sneak into the kitchen. Very quietly, you pull a chair over to where the human person is making candy. You make yourself invisible so that she doesn't say, "Get off the counter Pappa Bear" or "Don't climb on the stove Pappa Bear". You tipitoe over to the bowl or pot. You dust off your paw, and very very slowly and sneakily reach out and put your paw in the bowl. You snatch it back when the human person says "I see you Pappa Bear you are not invisible". But I really am. Then you climb back up because she has cruelly put you on the floor.
Well, my tummy is full of nice candy with red and green cherries and pecans, and nice toffee with almonds and chocolate . So I feel a nap coming on. Pretty soon, I will get my staff to type up another entry, entitled what bears get for Christmas or maybe, what Bears eat for Christmas....
Love,
your very best boss in the world and expert candy taster, Pappa Bear
So I am stuck with the worst staff in the world!!! poor poor Pappa bear. Send all complaints to her, not to me, a poor pitiful bear who is at the mercy of bad help.
So let me tell you this. I have been in my spare time, thinking up stuff to write. And I have come up with some really good lists and I will get my staff to type them in for you.
I love Christmas. Christmas means lots of things to lots of people. To Bears it means FOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! yum yum. just tonight my staff was making something I like to call CANDY!!! yum yum. My paws are all sticky from helping. To help, you sneak into the kitchen. Very quietly, you pull a chair over to where the human person is making candy. You make yourself invisible so that she doesn't say, "Get off the counter Pappa Bear" or "Don't climb on the stove Pappa Bear". You tipitoe over to the bowl or pot. You dust off your paw, and very very slowly and sneakily reach out and put your paw in the bowl. You snatch it back when the human person says "I see you Pappa Bear you are not invisible". But I really am. Then you climb back up because she has cruelly put you on the floor.
Well, my tummy is full of nice candy with red and green cherries and pecans, and nice toffee with almonds and chocolate . So I feel a nap coming on. Pretty soon, I will get my staff to type up another entry, entitled what bears get for Christmas or maybe, what Bears eat for Christmas....
Love,
your very best boss in the world and expert candy taster, Pappa Bear
Monday, November 19, 2007
My fan club
My fan club got together the other night and it was probably the most amazing thing that's ever happened in the history of the world. I had so many human people there all wanting to see me and meet me and I even danced for them! I was wearing my dragon suit but none of them was afraid!!!
I hope that sometime soon in the future we can have another fan club meeting because it was so wonderful to see so many human people who love me so much. It makes my little furry cheeks go pink to think about it!!!
Next time I'm going to teach all my fan club members my special Pappa Bear dance and maybe let them feed me good treats!!! I will share with them, because I am such a generous and kind bear!!
Thank you to Evie, Taylor, Hannah, Jackson, and of course my own human girl Rory for such a wonderful time. Thank you especially to Evie for holding me and cuddling me, because that's what bears like best in the world, next to sweets and honey!!!
I'm just all fuzzy inside!!!
Love,
Your happy Pappa Bear
I hope that sometime soon in the future we can have another fan club meeting because it was so wonderful to see so many human people who love me so much. It makes my little furry cheeks go pink to think about it!!!
Next time I'm going to teach all my fan club members my special Pappa Bear dance and maybe let them feed me good treats!!! I will share with them, because I am such a generous and kind bear!!
Thank you to Evie, Taylor, Hannah, Jackson, and of course my own human girl Rory for such a wonderful time. Thank you especially to Evie for holding me and cuddling me, because that's what bears like best in the world, next to sweets and honey!!!
I'm just all fuzzy inside!!!
Love,
Your happy Pappa Bear
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
November
Hi, It's me Pappa Bear.
It is November and this is my first November post on my blog. I'm feeling very Novembery what about you?
Next week is Thanks giving. I am giving thanks that I have a dragon suit. I have been wearing it since Halloween, because I look so nice and green in it. It has a long tail and a hat with a clothes pin on it to make it look extra festive. It also has boots with claws that make my feet look really scary and big, just like my human girl's feet. The big part, not the scary clawy part.
I think that people and especially bears should get as much use out of their hallween costumes as they can and should wear them a long time maybe til their birthdays.
Anyway, back to my dragon costume. In my dragon costume, I can fly and I can breathe fire. I have to be very careful where I breathe when I wear it because it's not good around books or people or trees, but it's very good around marshmallows or hotdogs or birthday cakes.
When is your birthday? Mine is Dec. 20 Just like my human girl, it's nice of me to share with her.
Tomorrow, or even next week, I'm going to take some pictures of me in my dragon costume, so be watching for them, but if you see a big green dragon flying overhead, don't be afraid, because it's most likely me, Pappa Bear!!!
Love, and scorches,
from Pappa Bear the biggest scariest green dragon in the world
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
It is November and this is my first November post on my blog. I'm feeling very Novembery what about you?
Next week is Thanks giving. I am giving thanks that I have a dragon suit. I have been wearing it since Halloween, because I look so nice and green in it. It has a long tail and a hat with a clothes pin on it to make it look extra festive. It also has boots with claws that make my feet look really scary and big, just like my human girl's feet. The big part, not the scary clawy part.
I think that people and especially bears should get as much use out of their hallween costumes as they can and should wear them a long time maybe til their birthdays.
Anyway, back to my dragon costume. In my dragon costume, I can fly and I can breathe fire. I have to be very careful where I breathe when I wear it because it's not good around books or people or trees, but it's very good around marshmallows or hotdogs or birthday cakes.
When is your birthday? Mine is Dec. 20 Just like my human girl, it's nice of me to share with her.
Tomorrow, or even next week, I'm going to take some pictures of me in my dragon costume, so be watching for them, but if you see a big green dragon flying overhead, don't be afraid, because it's most likely me, Pappa Bear!!!
Love, and scorches,
from Pappa Bear the biggest scariest green dragon in the world
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Happiest bear in the world
I am the most happiest bear in the world because I got a comment from someone other than meeeeeee!!!!! Evie is my most favorite human person other than my very own human person!!! I am going to give her a present some day, maybe an autographed picture of me myself Pappa Bear or maybe an empty honey pot or a empty candy wrapper!!!!
THANK YOU EVIE FOR MY WONDERFUL COMMENT!!!!!!!
Love Pappa Bear the Happiest Bear in the world
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