The Top Ten Driving Tips

My human girl recently took something called Driver's Ed u ca shun. That means she gets to scare lots of people by driving a car. Sometimes it's on the road, and other times it's in a ditch. All this means that it's time to break out Pappa Bear's Top Ten Driving Tips list.

Enjoy.

1- If you are using a bluetooth, bring a toothbrush.

2- If listening to the radio while driving, Don't dance.

3- If eating beans, bring clothes pins, gas mask, and air freshener.

4- If feeling gassy, say at frequent intervals, "We must have passed a sewage plant!!!!"

5- Sit on enough books to see over the steering wheel.

6- Always wear driving gloves, even if you don't have hands.

7- Don't talk on a cell phone, just shout loudly to the person next to you.

8- Never drive on top of another car.

9- Cars can't fly.

10- Or climb trees.

11- Don't drive with your feet.

12- Only put the top down if your car is a convertable.

13- In addition to your turn signal, you could shout:

"I'M TURNING RIGHT!!!"

It's nearly CHRISTMAS!!!!

I have been such a busy bear lately. I know you, my adoring fans, have been missing me so badly, and I have to apologize. You may not realize this, but I a bear do not type my own blognesses, I have a staff that actually has fingers and they type for me, I tell them every word, every singlie itty bitty one and they use their own fingers and type them for me. My staff has been busy. bla bla bla bla bla. Whine whine. I have to Shop, Pappa Bear. Christmas is coming Pappa Bear. Human daughter's birthday is coming, Pappa Bear. I have to take a nap Pappa Bear. Stuff like that I would fire my staff, except who else would work for a stuffed bear for nothing? No one I might imagine.

So I am stuck with the worst staff in the world!!! poor poor Pappa bear. Send all complaints to her, not to me, a poor pitiful bear who is at the mercy of bad help.

So let me tell you this. I have been in my spare time, thinking up stuff to write. And I have come up with some really good lists and I will get my staff to type them in for you.

I love Christmas. Christmas means lots of things to lots of people. To Bears it means FOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! yum yum. just tonight my staff was making something I like to call CANDY!!! yum yum. My paws are all sticky from helping. To help, you sneak into the kitchen. Very quietly, you pull a chair over to where the human person is making candy. You make yourself invisible so that she doesn't say, "Get off the counter Pappa Bear" or "Don't climb on the stove Pappa Bear". You tipitoe over to the bowl or pot. You dust off your paw, and very very slowly and sneakily reach out and put your paw in the bowl. You snatch it back when the human person says "I see you Pappa Bear you are not invisible". But I really am. Then you climb back up because she has cruelly put you on the floor.

Well, my tummy is full of nice candy with red and green cherries and pecans, and nice toffee with almonds and chocolate . So I feel a nap coming on. Pretty soon, I will get my staff to type up another entry, entitled what bears get for Christmas or maybe, what Bears eat for Christmas....

Love,
your very best boss in the world and expert candy taster, Pappa Bear

My fan club

My fan club got together the other night and it was probably the most amazing thing that's ever happened in the history of the world. I had so many human people there all wanting to see me and meet me and I even danced for them! I was wearing my dragon suit but none of them was afraid!!!

I hope that sometime soon in the future we can have another fan club meeting because it was so wonderful to see so many human people who love me so much. It makes my little furry cheeks go pink to think about it!!!

Next time I'm going to teach all my fan club members my special Pappa Bear dance and maybe let them feed me good treats!!! I will share with them, because I am such a generous and kind bear!!


Thank you to Evie, Taylor, Hannah, Jackson, and of course my own human girl Rory for such a wonderful time. Thank you especially to Evie for holding me and cuddling me, because that's what bears like best in the world, next to sweets and honey!!!

I'm just all fuzzy inside!!!

Love,
Your happy Pappa Bear

November

Hi, It's me Pappa Bear.

It is November and this is my first November post on my blog. I'm feeling very Novembery what about you?

Next week is Thanks giving. I am giving thanks that I have a dragon suit. I have been wearing it since Halloween, because I look so nice and green in it. It has a long tail and a hat with a clothes pin on it to make it look extra festive. It also has boots with claws that make my feet look really scary and big, just like my human girl's feet. The big part, not the scary clawy part.

I think that people and especially bears should get as much use out of their hallween costumes as they can and should wear them a long time maybe til their birthdays.

Anyway, back to my dragon costume. In my dragon costume, I can fly and I can breathe fire. I have to be very careful where I breathe when I wear it because it's not good around books or people or trees, but it's very good around marshmallows or hotdogs or birthday cakes.

When is your birthday? Mine is Dec. 20 Just like my human girl, it's nice of me to share with her.

Tomorrow, or even next week, I'm going to take some pictures of me in my dragon costume, so be watching for them, but if you see a big green dragon flying overhead, don't be afraid, because it's most likely me, Pappa Bear!!!

Love, and scorches,
from Pappa Bear the biggest scariest green dragon in the world
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The Happiest bear in the world

I am the most happiest bear in the world because I got a comment from someone other than meeeeeee!!!!! Evie is my most favorite human person other than my very own human person!!! I am going to give her a present some day, maybe an autographed picture of me myself Pappa Bear or maybe an empty honey pot or a empty candy wrapper!!!!

THANK YOU EVIE FOR MY WONDERFUL COMMENT!!!!!!!

Love Pappa Bear the Happiest Bear in the world

I forgot to title this post

My human girl likes to do Irish Dance. I have taught her everything she knows about it. She is pretty good, but not as good as me of course!!! She spends time on the IDM magazine website http://www.irishdancing.com/ You can go there too and get this beautiful sparkly thing that I am hoping will post on here!!!

Well, the beautiful sparkly thing won't work and I find it really sad. But you can still go to the site and check it out.

Look look, I got the pretty sparkly thing to work! Am I not the smartest bear in the world or what?????

Love Pappa Bear the most amazing dancer in the world...

The rules of the house

Hello, I've been such a busy bear, I' ve been so sad about not getting to spend much time blogging. But you know Halloween is soon and take ever so much preparation..

I've been thinking about things, which is hard for a little bear. it takes a lot of brain stuff to think, and takes time away from important stuff, like sleeping, eating honey, eating candy, sleeping, eating good yummy stuff, dancing, coming up with excuses, pretending to be the Avon lady, collecting money door to door, polishing claws, stuff like that.

Wet stuff fell from the sky today. I didn't know what it was. But I wore my umbrella hat and it kept me dry. Umbrella hats are probably the best invention of mankind. And most attractive fashion accessory.

My friend Lamby borrowed some of my stuff this week, and I had to post some rules about ownership. My human girl let me post them in her room, where Lamby also resides. Isn't that a good word, resides? That's much more impressive than "lives" or "stays" or "hangs her hat"

Here they are:

1. If I like it, its mine

2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours

6. If I'm chewing something, all the pieces are mine

7. If you are playing with something and put it down, it automatically becomes mine

8. If it looks like mine, it's mine

9. If I saw it first its mine

10. If it's broken, it's yours

I think these are very fair rules, don't you? You may use them if you like!!!!

Love and kisses and send honey,

Pappa Bear

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you ( i guess you get the idea.....)

I can't tell you how very gratified I have been at the staggering, overwhelming response I've gotten from my blog in these first few days!! I have had probably a zillion, or maybe 4 or 5 visitors!!! And I've had several comments. Every time I get a comment, I just nearly explodes!!!! I run and jump and holler and scream and crash into stuff until my human girl says "Pappa Bear Pappa Bear You must calm down before you go to pieces!!!" and so I have to stop and have some candy.

In other news, I've had a photo shoot today. I must say they are the best photos ever taken!!!!! My personal favorite ones are of me. My second favorite ones are also of me. In fact, all the best photographs in the world are of me!!!!!

Look at this *&^%$#$^&*^%$. Isn't that really pretty?

Look, I can type with my toes!
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I like my top hat. You can see it in the photographs. We're going to post the bestest ones on here. Well, we can't post ALL the bestest ones because I don't think we can post 2 billion ones and they're all best.

Ta ta for now,
Your friend,
Pappa Bear

Keep the comments and votes coming. So far I am winning in the poll!!!!!!!

How I came to be me

I imagine you're wondering how I came to be the bear that I am. Most people are really fascinated with my life story. I was just a simple bear on a shelf at an Irish dancing feis waiting for something amazing to happen.

There was a little human girl there who got very very ill and her mother had to withdraw her from the competition. I knew in my heart of hearts that I could heal that little human girl, so I struggled from the shelf and flung myself selflessly into the floor to get that mother's attention.

"I can save your little human girl and make her well!" I cried. So she paid my hotel bill and took me to their room. Within hours the little human girl was better and I realized that my purpose in life was to do amazing things to make the world a better place.

So that's what I do day in and day out. I go to every trip my little human girl goes to and I am always the best of traveling companions. I plan out meals and travel arrangements and I tell her what to pack and all kinds of lovely things. I entertain. Often I have to help drive. Sometimes the chauffer human lady lets me sit in the steering wheel and help keep the car on the road. Often I try to reach my little furry paw out to take hold of the wheel and she says, "Pappa Bear, get your hand back!!!" and I sneak back and pretend it wasn't me!!! Often I just entertain by dancing and singing and fine things like that.

I am really good with style. I can pick out the best clothes and put together amazing outfits for my friends, Lamby, Sparkle Bear, and all the rest.

Well, this is just a short and small summary of me, by me, but I will tell you more later!!! It's probably about all you can absorb for one sitting right now so far!!!

Love,
Pappa Bear

Welcome To my World

Hi!

Welcome to my blog. All my fans have been begging me for some time to start a blog so they could keep up with my activities and adventures. I am usually way too busy to even attempt to try to take time out of my very busy schedule to try to attempt to do something like this, but because my wonderful fans have been begging so pitifully I decided that I would give into their pleas.

This is the busy time of year for bears. Halloween, and thusly my birthday, is coming soon, and winter will be after that. As you know most bears hibernate. But I do not because I live in a house with people who feed me regularly and keep the temperature at a nice setting. Plus when you hibernate you miss Christmas, my second favorite holiday. My best friend Rory also has a birthday at that time of year and it wouldn't do for me to miss cake and ice cream, two of my favorite foods.

Right now, I am in disguise because you never know who might be searching for you. So if you happen to see a bear dressed as a snow queen, don't call out my name because I will be someone else entirely.

Got to run now, I have to find out if I got voted off Dancing with the Stars tonight. I'm sure I didn't.

Lots of bear hugs, Pappa Bear.